Birthday Bonk

So yesterday was my birthday.

As far as birthdays go this was a good one. I spent the morning shopping for a new outfit for the night. I went a bit far and spent more than I had planned for but what I got should cover me for a few special occasions.

I then had my hair done and got ready to go out. I had expected that my date from Sunday would call but alas I heard nothing from him.

The night out with the girls was fantastic fun. I spoke to really no boys at all until later in the night when I bumped into a friend whom in all reality there has been a few years of sexual tension between us.

But naughty naughty us we ended up back at mine having more fun than we should have. Oh dear! This man is technically off limits. Ie. In a relationship. Not good. But it was a bit of fun and no harm done.

Got a text from the sunday date. What's with the texts? Can you not call me??! Arrgghh text messaging is the reason I have a low dating quota. I hate being asked out by text! HATE IT!!

To ask or not

I finally plucked up the courage to be bold and take the move to give my number to someone.

This happened at the bar I am working at. Over the years there have been many a time where I have seen guys I have liked and never done anything about it.

For example, I used to take the bus from Bondi to the city everyday a couple of years ago. A guy I thought was hot got on everyday and everyday I secretly perved on him hoping he might notice me. He didn't and after many conversations with the guys at work about possible dropping of my biz card in his hand, he stopped taking the bus and I never saw him again.

So this time I thought 'stuff it' I will go for it. Can't keep letting opportunities to pass me by.

A group of guys in their mid 30's rock into the bar and take a table in my section. All of them are reasonable in looks and they are extremely nice to me. They introduce themselves to me by name and take the time to ask me about myself. We converse and after a couple of drinks and some food they get up to leave. As the last guy leaves I pull him aside and ask him if he would give my number to one of his friends. He agrees and off he goes.

It's a risk since a number of things could happen here. He could not pass it on and keep it for himself. He could pass on it on and said guy throws it away. He could tell some total cock and bull story and really stitch me up.

I put it out there and now I have no control over what happens so I just have to trust the universe to do the right thing!

I finish up my shift and the place is still open so I go downstairs for a drink to wind down from the day. To my surprise the boys are still in the place. I walk by them and say hello again, they seem happy to chat away to me so I take a seat next to the boy who I tried to give my number to. Turns out his mate told him what I said but he didn't believe him and threw the number away! I told him it was fine it was just me taking a chance. He was very sweet and said that if it was genuine then he would take my number there and then.

He did, he sent a text to say it was nice to meet me etc...and then we arranged a date for the sunday. Nice work!

We speak on the saturday briefly to organise and then sunday comes. He picks me up and we go to Bondi for dinner. It was great. He was considerate, easy to talk to, fun and very sweet. He tells me he has an 8 year old daughter. Bit of a shock but then I am in the age range where I kind of have to expect some baggage will come with my mate.

He drops me off and we have a little goodbye kiss. I left with a good fdeeling. He sent me a text the next day to say he enjoyed the date and would I like to meet up again. I did so I told him I was only free on Tuesday. Cool, we agree Tuesday. I had to cancel though due to work commitments and tell him it's best for him to call me Friday and since Friday is my birthday he should do anyway!

So that's date one from my new working situation. This could be worth it after all!

Too busy to blog

Phew! Life has been a bit of a whirlwind of late. Since starting the waitressing job I've gotten really busy with all my other work. Which is great but I hardly have any time for myself anymore.

The success of my waitressing has not been that great. Frankly I have dropped too many drinks over boys to even have any success of getting a date. And any guy who does attempt to ask me out has thus far been too drunk to get the words out. Attractive!

So strike rate has been poor to be honest.

Had a hens party this weekend for a good friend of mine. Lots of drinking, lots of fun. No boys allowed! Except maybe the police but this time it wasn't for me. Or anyone in the group for that matter. We hijacked them purely for the purposes of pictures for the hen.

Closest I have come to matters of the opposite sex is over drunk men trying to kiss me and due to my turning away getting a good old smacker in the ear. Nice!

Let's hope things pick up soon. This is getting ridiculous. About to do something drastic with my looks I think. Something along the lines of hair colour.

A date I can't forget

Today is the 22nd Anniversary of my brothers car accident.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it and him and how awful his life has turned out.

I also never stop thinking about how it has affected my parents ability to be totally free in their latter years and how it drove a huge wedge in our family between all of us as we dealt with our pain separately.

I wish it had never happened for his sakes and all of us. But it did and I have to live with it as I have for the past 22 years and will do for the rest of my life.

I have decided to stay in tonight and treat myself to a relaxing bath and a home cooked meal and appreciate all I have in my life. Like my health, my freedom, my friends, the ability to work, the ability to go to the beach and run and swim and love and decorate my house and basically do all the things my brother can't and never will be able to do.

A new direction

Lately I've had to have a rethink about all things in my life. Not just my approach to my dating life after the disaster of the 'ultimate insult' but also my working life.

I've recently taken on a new part time job not only to up my monetry situation but also my ability to meet more men.

Yes I have taken a position as waitress at the newest hippest spot in town and frankly I think my little plan may work!

Apparently you can suss out the opposite sex without looking like you are by simply paying attention to them as a waitress. The thing is the guys are so polite to you in a way I have never experienced before it's almost refreshing! Let's face it, most of the guys in this city are a bit up themselves and given that there are a huge amount of HOT women vying for their attention they kind of get away with it. Which is annoying as I still believe in chivalry to some extent and so often find myself disappointed by their behaviour.

However, it has been interesting to see the huge difference between the way men and women interact when it comes to meeting on equal gournd - ie. two people meeting in a bar both drinking, both likely to be reasonably high flyers and a little bit uber too cool for each other. The interaction is a little guarded to the point of rudeness and the attitude is the girls play hard to get until the guys move on and then it's all on for the cat fights in the bathrooms for said man the girl had pretended to dismiss. It's far to complicated for me. The boys seems to like the attention of the chicks having a biff over them and well why not! We all like to feel like we are super important to everyone in the world so this kind of slappy slappy between the girls just boosts their already inflated ego's.

So meeting the guys in a different arena whereby they want good service and are paying for it and I am obliged to be polite and give good service for food and entertainment has meant that I can interact with them on a level more comfortable for me. I am enjoying this means of conversing and it allows me to flirt outrageously with them with NO competition from other catty females in the process!

Thus far I have done two shifts and have seen a lot of people I know and some I have previously tried to flirt with in the past only to be overlooked by younger, hotter versions. This time, however, it appears my new waitress status is somewhat more attractive than the tarted up version of me.

A lot of the guys did not even recognise me and when they did they said "wow! Look at you! you look really cute and like a 25 year old! I had no idea that was you". Yes this outfit and new job could definitely work out for me on the dating front. Especially if I get that kind of reaction from my friends! I can only imagine what the other potential males might be thinking. Let's hope for the most part it is relatively nice! Clearly I will come across some unscrupulous arseholes, it's par for the course I would say. Let's pray those ones are few and far between.

I'm hoping to at least get some numbers and offers of dates from some eligible bachelors....I'll keep you posted on my progress.....!!

Still stewing

So it's taken me a long time to get over last weeks comment from the 'ahole' I used to date. In fact, that's a lie, I'm not over it. I'm not sure I will be. It cut pretty deep. But why am I still feeling like this?

I have to be upfront and say that I still had a soft spot for the 'ahole' up until that point and therefore his scathing comment cut a lot deeper than maybe he thought it might, I'm also wondering to myself if what he said is a reflection of the kind of girl I am.

Am I just a girl that you f*ck?

I'd like to think not but this situation got me thinking and I have had a past history of men who seem to treat me in this way. My last serious relationship is something I now view as me being someone that guy f*cked for 4 years before the next thing he was going to fuck came along. Which is did, in the form of many lovers during our time together that I never knew about until his final affair which was significant enough for him to marry after I told him where to go. That didn't feel too good I have to say. Since then there have been a stream of men who basically when I look back on it have really not spent any time at all getting to know me and have had their fun and gone when they have found the next bit of fluff that takes their fancy.

So, this means I am either not worth getting to know or I am giving it up a bit too easily. I'm going to go with the last one since I already know I am worth getting to know and most of these men wouldn't know a good thing if it came and slapped them in the face, which it did, in the form of me.

Still, his comment cut deeply and I suspect he did know I was still a bit soft on him and he was giving me a very strong and clear message that it's not reciprocated. Not that I spent a lot time chasing this person just made a point of saying hello if I saw him, which in the past 6 months has been about twice. Not sure he really needed to make the message that full on. I'm still hurt and that's that really.

Didn't go out this weekend, need to get my confidence back up first and maybe stop thinking too hard about my apparent easiness. I'm not easy at all. In fact I like to make a point of getting the boys to chase me and definitely not the other way around. It is highlighting some thought provoking facts about myself that are coming to the surface though.

The ultimate insult

I've been too busy lately to date or even pay much attention to the opposite sex but my most recent night out on Saturday just about delivered a corker of an insult from them.

I bumped into an old flame, someone I briefly had fun with end of last year. Having not seen this person for a while I said hello and made pleasantries etc...as you do. A girl standing next to him asked him how we knew each other and this was his reply:

"I used to fuck her"

And then he turned around and started talking to another girl...

Frankly I was mortified. The girl who has originally asked the question was as gobsmacked as I and then asked me if that was true. I stumbled through a few words where I said somethig along the lines of '...well, kind of, we were hanging out and yes that was pretty much the long and short of it but not sure it was necessary to be a blunt as that...'

She was horrified and said 'how rude of him' and walked off. So I really was left hanging like a plum.

I had to go and gather myself in the bathroom and compose some kind of response. Which I did. I went back out and saw said nob jockey and said:

"A word please young man'

Uh oh I am in trouble, he says

Yes you are, how dare you introduce me to somebody I don't know as 'somebody you used to fuck', it is rude and disrespectful and I am better than that."

Yes you are and I'm sorry, he says

Don't you ever do that again you rude little man.

Having held it together to tell the little prick off I hailed a cab and the tears started to roll down my face. By the time I managed to get into my house I was roaring crying destroyed by the hurtful comment and the bare faced rudeness of it.

Does this person think so lowly of me to say that really? Do they? I'm not even sure why he would think that.

The base facts are that I met him at my birthday party last year. He pursued me throughout the night and eventually I gave in. We saw each other a few times over the next 2-3 months before he left for some month long trip around Australia. I knew that when that trip started it was the end of what we had had in terms of the relationship. He didn't make any contact and whilst it was christmas and new year whilst he was away I did send a couple of messages to wish him the seasonal wishes as appropriate. He didn't reciprocate of course.

When he got back he barely managed to say hello when I saw him except I did randomly bump into him around Australia day in which there was clearly still some attraction there. He again pursued me all night despite me barring him after his lack of ability to communicate with me whilst he had been away. I told him I thought he was a bit of a prick back then to!

Anyway so I'm not quite sure why this guy feels the need to be so rude to me. The male friends I have spoken to about this seem to think I might have hurt HIS feelings somewhere along the lines. I can't even think where that point may have been since he didn't seem that interested in me in the first place.

Maybe he has some emotional issues? He seems to treat women quite poorly from what I have seen and likes to be the ultimate player, but perhaps he is not that happy and does this to get some kind of satisfaction out of being domineering over women.

Whatever it is I hope to never have to be subjected to that again and I certainly won't bother going out of my way to talk to him again.

I still feel quite hurt by what he said despite it not really being about me, it feels quite raw.

show us your special moves

I had a very blokey weekend last weekend. It started with an unexpected invite to the football (league) with my good friend B. It was his favourite team playing in an apparent important season clash with another local team.

All very exciting I must say. I had the opportunity to be a complete bogan and a total bloke! Loved it. The atmosphere was amazing, we had a mixture of fans in the group from both sides and there was plenty of match banter exchanged. I drank way to many wines thinking it was possible to keep up with the boys beer for beer or in my case beer for wine. YIKES!

The next day whilst recovering from the football fun and getting ready for my epic shoot that I'd been preparing for all week I get a message from another guy friend saying that he was down at Bondi and I should join them for a drink. Now, whilst I can definitely say no when needed this situation was different.

Said friend is someone whom I had been trying unsuccessfully to catch up with, either I had been away when he was in town or had missed his calls etc....anyway since it worked out that it was a) the afternoon when he called and b) it meant I could still get enough rest and have some fun before my 3 days of night shooting coming up, I felt I should go. Oh and he also happened to play for the team I had seen play and win the night before, so it felt rude not to continue the football themed weekend.

Now this guy is quite interesting, he's a musician and a footballer, has amazing tattoos adorning his quite spectacular arms and is well...really really hot.

I meet him and the boys for pleasant afternoon drinks which continues later on to another local haunt whereby we take over and own the jukebox and rock out for a few hours. Unfortunately I have to leave at midnight which was my own self proposed curfew time ....boo! I was having so much fun too. Not that there is anything there to talk about that's relevant to the point of my blog. He's hot and I would definitely go there but he is a mate and he has a girl. Game over and I'd rather keep him as a mate since hot men have hot friends right?!??!!?

Right? Well maybe one or two. Another friend of his and someone I know who also used to be a footballer was with us too. At one point in the night when clearly I had had enough beers to drop the inhibitions I found myself sniffing both guys (yes they both smelt amazing! FARKK!!!! enough to drive you man!) and inspecting their special V muscle - you know the one, the one that starts at the sides of the pelvis and points down to...... yes us girls love it and I was giving it a good go at the inspection process. Neither of them seemed to mind and frankly I had a good old touch up of both men. Such a dirty perve...I sometimes fear this kind of behaviour is verging on the cougar...!

Hope not! But I enjoyed it anyway and if you can get away with it then why not eh?!

Raffle winner and then some

So last week I attended my running clubs cocktail party to celebrate our momentous fundraising effort. A grand $22k! I won the first prize in the raffle too which was 2 nights accommodation for 2 in the snow, which would have been awesome had a nice partner to go with but as we all know I don't, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this blog!

Not wanting to be one of those people who hangs on to such items in the hope that Mr Right or even Mr Right now comes along and fancies it, I swapped it with the guy who won second prize which was a new pair of Asics trainers! Yes I needed new ones desperately and this was a much more practical a prize for me.

So, with my winning voucher for new shoes in hand I popped off into the the city to try my luck with the men of sydney. Might as well, I was on a winning streak after all!

Having already consumed quite a lot of free champagne at the fundraising event I arrived at a friends soiree in a reasonably posh wine bar in the city a little on the tiddly side. This however didn't seem to bother me as I polished off some more wine, spoke with various men in the balcony in an effort to entice smokes out of them (filthy habit and only done when on the wrong side of tipsy) and got free cocktails out of the bar man who has had a crush on me for about 5 years! He swapped cocktails for kisses. I see no problem with that whatsoever!

My friend and I then tipple off to another venue where I knew a rather hot man would be. This was the man I have previously referenced in the blog as hot with bad hair. Very bad hair!

He gets my friend and I in the club with no hassles form the people at the door, thankfully, I hate cues and I hate paying to get into anywhere.

He was looking smoking! Having cut his hair and recently come back from a trip to Europe, tanned and fit. I was all over him like a cheap safari suit. Nothing to do with the 10 million drinks I had consumed oh no!

He makes me drink some kind of shot and then it was time to go home apparently. Probably a good thing, my limbs had stopped responding to the commands of my brain. We go back to mine and well have some special cuddle time. I am probably a bit useless though as I am really quite outrageously drunk by now. What the hell was in that shot??! I have to blame someone other than me right??

He's got an amazing body and soft smooth skin...wow!

He leaves to go to work in the morning (so he says, I mean who's to know that is true?). Monster hangover all day prevents me from doing anything at all, I can't even lift my head to drink my coffee. YUCK!

A week later I still haven't heard from him, so I decided I'll send him a text message with a cheeky message, it went like this:

"Hi Stranger, what's with not contacting me, did you just use me?? :(("

I mean f*ck it! Why not!! He responds not long after with "I've been really busy all week, not ignoring you are you out tonight?"

Me: "not a good enough excuse! No I am not out tonight."

I've decided to take no prisoners or accept crap reasons from dickheads. About time I stood up for myself.

Yay to me!

Running into the exes

Just over a week ago I completed the City to Surf race which I have been training for in the past 10 weeks.

At the end of the race I joined my running group and immediately bumped into a guy I have had a huge crush on for ages.

Well, correction...I was seeing him at the end of last year, well...in the loosest sense of the term. Ok he was a fuck buddy. But a bloody good one at that and I was keen for more.

Unfortunately said FB went off on some trip for a month in a charity fundraising thing and from what I hear literally shagged his way around Australia.

Fair play but I was a little smitten and so it was a bit of a blow. I bumped into him a couple of times after that trip but it was all over and he had well and truly moved on at least about 10 more girls since then.

As is the norm when you have an unrequited love crush you play over and over the next time you might bump into said crush no doubt looking fabulous and amazing, hopefully having just won the lotto or sporting a body to die for...no biccies here thanks very much.

Not so, I bump into him red faced and sweaty having just run 14kms and wearing running tights. This is not what I had envisaged. We spoke and made polite conversation whilst I secretly perved and checked out his package imagining again what was beneath those shorts. Oh love crush why don't you crush me back???

The usual thing after the city to surf race is for the entirety of Bondi to go to the local pub, I asked FB if he was going to do the same but shock, horror he was breaking with tradition by going to a mates bbq instead and also breaking my heart at the same time. Well, only a little bit.

So off myself and my little running friend go (who incidentally runs into a recent ex on the way). This day is turning bizarre for exes making a comeback. We get down to the pub and stack up on beers and vodkas and yes both me and my friend bump into yet more exes.

I see the guy I ran away from on the dance floor last week. Highly embarrassing I have to say. Sydney is so small! I say hello and we have a polite chat but I am so mortified I have to just turn away from him as soon as is possible.

Later as I go to leave having consumed 8 beers and in dire need of a pizza I leave the pub to be asked by a man on a motorbike for directions and guess who it was???? LIBRARY BOY!!!!

Good lord this day is weird! He tells me he is going to see a friend and will call me later. Which of course he doesn't but hey I am sure I will see him soon. He keeps popping in and out of my life after all.

Running in more ways than one

Last Saturday my training group did a 14.1km run which involved taking on the infamous 'heartbreak hill', the hill that everyone fears in the Sydney iconic race City to Surf.

I ran with a good friend of mine and we were pumped! We ran the entire thing not stopping once and I felt great afterwards. The fact that our trainers are hot has nothing to do with me wanting to seem fit as a fiddle and a high achiever in the fitness stakes, oh no!! It does bloody help actually and it's good to talk with said trainers after each run so I can do a tiny bit of swooning whilst talking some rubbish about my knee/thigh/buttocks - all relevant and it depends on how flirty I am feeling as to which body part is up for discussion.

Later that day my sidekick and I went out for drinks firstly in Bondi to The Beach Road, it was empty but sidekick find someone she was interested in so that was a good start. We then ventured to the Sheaf in Double Bay. Always loaded with men and boys. It didn't disappoint in the number, the quality was another thing.

Not as successful as we would have liked. The man pawing was at top level that evening and at one point I literally got thrown on to the dance floor by a 26 year old bean pole - he was cute and at least 7 foot. But he towered over me and in a crowded room with an imposing shape over me I felt completely overwhelmed and had to run away. Which I did, as soon as he turned around to do some seductive move he felt necessary (which I found it a but cringe worthy) and made my escape. I picked up my little friend and we left at midnight like a couple of old dears and went home to put our PJ's on.....

....this could be the end! Let's hope not! City to Surf here we come!!! There's always fun to be had at The Beach Road after.

Rugby rugby rugby

Went and saw my local rugby team play recently. I go on the pretence I am going to watch the game. This is of course rubbish. The place is so full of men I can hardly contain myself! I literally don't know where to look or what to do.

It's swarming with men of all shapes, sizes, colours and tastes. For the discerning single lady this is a smorgasboard of testosterone and you are welcome to take your pick!

For a start I don't think it's a bad thing that a chick been seen at the local rugby drinking beer. It speaks volumes about the fact that you are a down to earth, normal chick who could quite easily fit in with a mans life. It also allows you to converse with many men all at once during the day when they are more relaxed. You can have blokey conversations and get away with it. I love it!

The fact is there is something attractive about the overpowering manliness of rugby. It's alluring to the loins and I'm not the only chick who thinks so. There is a lot to be said for the 'footy chick' phenomenon. It's been investigated extensively and whilst it has a bad name from the NRL players who, on occasion, take it too far the fact is big burly men in a group is attractive to a lot of women. Perhaps it is a caveman thing. It's hard to describe but you can bet that most women want a strong man as a potential partner and what better than a sporting man since this is a forum for showing off such strength.

I didn't pull a footy player as such on this occasion but whilst having drinks later at The Sheaf in Double Bay I did bump into an NRL player who had his fair share of female attention and frankly he was loving it! So long as he doesn't do anything naughty I can't seen anything wrong with it. Women use their sexual power all the time, why shouldn't a sporting man be able to use his footballing prowess for the purposes of getting some?!

I was happy just to hang out with my male friends and get some man talk in!!!

Library boy update....

The other night I was on my way to dinner with a friend. I had only that day been thinking 'what on earth happened to library boy/Sticky bar boy?'

Whilst discussing the subject as I was crossing the road with my friend who should pass my by but Library boy! What are the odds?!?!? Totally freaked me out.

He didn't see me as he was chatting away to a rather hot and young looking chick. I said hello to him as our paths crossed right in the middle of the road. He looked shocked but said hello back in that 'do I know you?' tone.

I couldn't believe it!! That's where you were then? With your bleeding girlfriend!! Typical!

Of course my friend tells me I am possibly jumping to conclusions but who's to say? I mean she was hot, so is he, there were no other 'friends' there and it looked a bit 'datey' to me.

After dinner we discuss which pub he might be in. I say it's the Cricketers Arms she says it's The Clock. After much discussion and an agreement we would go to both, it turns out I was right. NOt that I am stalking him but we do need to settle this girlfriend/friend debate said friend and I were having. Whilst sipping on an unnecessary wine (I'd had enough by this point) he comes down the stairs with the girl. I freak, my friend does the beady eye whilst I have my back to the situation.

She reckons he sees me. I maintain he didn't. After much discussion and a few cheeky glanes to see the body language we both agree it's probably a girlfriend. He walks right past and is closely followed by the girl. Agreement sealed.

Hmm guess that was a bum lead then eh!?

Dates with fatalities part 2

So date number two of the week happened on the friday with a boy who had tracked me down on Face book.

Yes it's come to this. Being asked out on Facebook. At first I didn't know who he was but after checking out his photo's and confirming he is hot I accepted his request to be friends and sent him a message.

I told him I couldn't recall how I knew him but if not why not! He messaged back and told me we have met in Iguana bar 2 years ago. Ooohh those were the days, when Iguana bar was a dive and would let you in even if you were on an intravenous drip filled with pure alcohol. Yes, I miss that place.

Anyway, the date was set and we met up in The White horse pub in Surry hills. It all started out well, he was pleasant, bought me a drink and didn't talk about himself like the last one. But that was the problem. He didn't talk himself or in fact anything at all. In fact, he didn't talk. Or should I say use words, it was mostly a series of grunts if I was lucky enough to get a reaction out of him.

After quite some time of me chattering away and asking him questions which were greeted with one word answers and the death of that avenue of conversation, I started to get a bit fed up. In an attempt to salvage this date I suggested we go to another pub. Perhaps a change of atmosphere might get him talking.

It was wishful thinking. As we were walking down the road I said "you don't talk much do you?!" His possible one and only sentence of the evening was "I don't have an opinion about anything so no." What?? How can one not have an opinion about anything?? are you a moron??

Clearly this made me question him more, after much poking and prodding he pulled me aside and kissed me. No doubt in a ploy to shut me up. I was rather surprised since it didn't really appear this person even liked me! It didn't work. I continued trying my best to get this infuriating bastard to speak. It did feel a bit like he wasn't after a chat and probably just looking for some bed action.

But no amount of riling up worked and the only person who got riled up was me. I considered breaking my glass and stabbing myself in the eye again but instead I picked up my bag and said to him " you know what? I'm going to leave. I've had enough of talking to myself" He tried to stop me saying he was sorry and that I should stay. I said "what for??? Why did you bother asking me out if you weren't going to talk to me?! What was the point? It's a total waste of my time and I have better things to do than talk to a monosyllabic monkey all night!" He said he just wasn't much of a conversationist, arrogant arsehole more like!

He tried to get me to take him home so he could feast himself on my leftover roast chicken and probably have a feast on me but it wasn't happening. Who does this guy think he is??!? I just told him he was a monosyllabic monkey! I was now totally turned off by him and hot or not, you have to be able to talk to someone. Not all good looking men are idiots but this one certainly was. What a disappointment. I thought with the fact that he chased me down on Facebook he would have at least had something to say! I'm so confused!

Dates with fatalities part 1

Have you ever been on a date whereby you wanted to hurt yourself in order to get out of the date?

I have recently been on two dates like this in the same week! Not sure what on earth was going on that week. Perhaps the planets were aligned so that I meet two complete tosspots one after the other.

The first date was with an older man, at 42 one would expect him to be able to hold conversation and be somewhat gentlemanly and more conscious of his lady friend. Not so. He talked about himself from the minute I walked in to the pub without so much as taking a breath. This could be put down to nervousness but I think that a divorcee might have some confidence when it comes to dating again.

First of all he told me all about his wife and kids and how annoying his daughters were because they were so demanding and wanted him to buy them things all the time. I asked him how old they were at which is replied "I don't like to talk about my family it's very personal"!! Er...wasn't that what you were just doing??

Ok... so then he goes on to talk about work (boring) telling me what I did and how it was amazing (yet I had only managed to say one word when asked which was 'photography') and then tells me about his one and only punch up in a bar.

Interesting! He goes into full detail about said punch up which at times was pretty gruesome ad graphic.

If I tried to ask him anything he responded immediately with I don't like to talk about myself, I don't really offer up much in the way of information! I was flabbergasted! I just thought 'would you like me to replay this scenario for you??" At one point I almost fell asleep listening to the boring old fart who I could barely understand through his thick south african accent. I had to hold on to the sides of my face and pull my eyes open!

This was when I realised that I could quite easily just smash the glass in front of me and stab myself in the eye just to have a good enough reason to get the hell out of there! Which made me laugh and I started smiling at some inappropriate point in one of his many dull stories. Oops! Busted!

It was when he started telling me what kind of person I am and what I am into that I started to get riled up. I mean how would he know!? He's not asked me one question about myself at all.

As a diversion and a reason to call someone for a get out excuse I went outside and smoked a ciggy against all my principles. And also to attempt to put him off me. I called a friend whom told me about some party that night in the city. Returning to BB (boring bastard) I told him I had been invited somewhere very exclusive and I needed to go for the purposes of networking.

He asked me if I would like to see him again. I think my eyes almost popped out of my head! Not bloody likely mate.

"No. Not really" I say. Clearly he wasn't expecting this! "why?" he asks. "Well I don't think we have much in common and I have also met someone else recently" (complete lie but seemed likely to work more than anything else).

"Ok well you like wine don't you?" he says. "I'll take you to the hunter valley, we'll stay at peppers, do you know it. Of course you do...blah blah blah...." And he's off again. Persistant bastard!! What part of NO don't you understand you freak of nature???!??!

I leave, say goodbye and practically run up the road to get away as fast as I can! I still can't believe I was on this date...so odd!

Sticky Geek

The other night I met up with some of my girlfriends at Sticky Bar in Surry Hills. It's a great bar and somewhat unknown to the masses making it a more salacious evening out.

The evening started well or so I thought, there was a bit of a queue and a rather spectacular looking man working the door list. Naturally this made me feel good, girl on her own, no problem getting in, will just flash a smile at the hottie with the clipboard.

Apparently not, well not in front of an audience anyway. most of the queue were turned away due to the place being full. WHAT? it's 7.30pm!! what kind of place is this??

Since I had arranged to meet my girlfriends there and they were already upstairs getting lubricated I wasn't planning on moving. After all, read previous statement - girl on own etc....

I refused to move and just stood there pretending to be sending a text message. Then, to my horror two chicks walk straight up to the door say that they have dinner reservations and are immediately let in.

I flash my said 'hot now maybe not' friend a look of "excuse me??"... Thankfully what I get back tells me he's going to let me in I just have to wait until the idiot blokes hanging around have left.

When they finally do I get escorted upstairs by my now hot again friend. Turns out he's an actor when he's not working this door, he can act out on my door any night he likes!

Finally I meet up with my friends and sit down to have a drink. In doing so I notice there are a few hotties in the room. Hmm - note to self this place is good!! One of these hotties proceeds to trip over one of my friends feet, she doesn't mind since he is HOT HOT HOT. It was then that I realise that this little piece of molten is indeed my library boy! Oh good lord there is a god. I can now do what I should have done in the library and flirt outrageously with him! Yay!

A little too excited and perhaps a tad oiled, I bounce up to library boy with my opening line ....

"Hi, I met you in the library! You sat next to me! Remember? You were looking for a hot spot and then you were measuring something with you hands blah blah blah..."

After what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time, which I spent slowly being horrified at the "I met you in the library" line??? His expression changes to recognition and I'm out of the woods - maybe. I mean, I still said the geekiest line known to man. "I met you in the library"..!

Anyway he sits down and we get chatting, I ask him what he was doing in the library, he tells me he is a writer and has a book deal (melt) and that he is writing a travel book, that he also rides motorbikes for a living for Yamaha (double melt, in fact I think I just slipped off my chair). So whilst I am totally falling in lust with this man my devil side then pipes up. "Oh really?? I like Ducati's myself" What the fuck!?!?! WHY did I say that?! Why??

And yes, he goes off to get a drink. So thinking I have blown it again I get back into the champers and the girly chat.

Then, he passes us to go down and have a cigarette and he makes eyes at me as he goes. F*ck it. I'm going to smoke despite having given up. Can't miss this opportunity.

Off I go and see hot door man who I then ask if he has seen any hot boys go by. He tells me he doesn't know what a hot boy looks like. "Pah!" I say "of course you do! You look in the mirror everyday I presume!!?"

I find my man, light up and proceed to be about as silly as you can get but thankfully my smart silly comes out and I am as funny as I can be. He laughs at my jokes, my banter with a man dressed as Michael Jackson and he even laughs at my 'runningmanogram' - I thing I recently made up. It goes something like this : Sing happy birthday to a friend and break out the runningman whilst singing - don't forget to change sides at some point to add interest.

Yes I did this in front of library boy. Thankfully it had a positive effect since he was laughing (possibly at me but laughing all the same).

We all troop back upstairs and more drinking is had followed by some dancing (yes close to hot man but it was a small space!) Hot door man comes up and he is friends with library boy. Double trouble! He tells me they are both there every friday night. Good tip if I was a stalker! They stand next to each other and alcohol gets the better of me. I ask if I can have a hot boy sandwich and start rubbing myself up against them. Hmm real classy Lushie!!! He seems to like this! I wonder why! Talk gets a bit hot and steamy as we discuss the possibility of sex in the library! Well why not!? It was part of my opening line after all!

After a few filthy moments of chat he and his mates go to leave, he asks me if I would like to join him at Rambutan down the road. Unfortunately I have to say no since I had a flight early in the morning to the Gold coast for the running festival I am taking part in (put that in to make me look fit - which I am!) He asks me for my number which is a good sign. So I tell him and as he goes to put my name followed by 'sticky bar', "no! put library girl"! Yeah good one geek!!

Needless to say, he hasn't called. That was 2 weeks ago!! Ooooh dear. Maybe I should return to sticky bar....

Sqeeky Geek

I've recently had my working hours reduced to 3 days a week. You might think this would allow for a lot more dating time but I've spent most of it trying to get more work and focussing on bettering myself.

This bettering myself involved in me spending some time in the library, which to my delight turned out to be half a day spent next to a particularly hot man. I was so ill prepared for something like this to happen though and I was a bag of nerves as said hot man made it quite obvious he was going to sit next to me for the next 4 hours. I was in the daggiest clothes you could imagine with unwashed hair in a pony tail and very minimal make-up. Clearly I was horrified at the prospect of a cool looking, tall, dark, creative type sitting next to me looking in such a state.

Still he sat next to me and proceeded to ask me about whether where I was sitting was a hot spot. Now, one could take that as a bit of innuendo and unintended I am sure but had I been feeling top of my game I may have made some 'Carry on...' style comment followed by a Sid James filthy laugh. But I didn't and really only managed to squeak out a 'no, it's not I've had to use my own wireless connection here" CRINGE!!! What a total geek!

Anyway he proceeds to sit down and put his headphones on. Meanwhile I bury myself into my books berating myself for a missed opportunity. Whilst pretending to ignore my said friend he then starts to mimic a measurement with his hands. My immediate thought being 'oh here it is the this is how long my cock is gesture'. I look up and have a little chortle to myself, a which point he asks me if I think that the distance he is looking at is about 60cm. Right ok. "Well," I say " your average ruler is about 30cm and that looks about double so yeah, 60cm'. "Cheers he says" end of conversation. Again what a GEEK!!

By this time clearly my friend had had enough and packed up, as he left he told me he was going to lunch, again a confident Lushie may have realised that it's lunchtime and this could be an invitation. Perhaps a good response might be 'oh really where you going? I'm pretty hungry myself" but no. I say 'oh ok! Enjoy".

I almost punched myself in the head. After a few sighs I decided to just got on with some more reading and then go back home for lunch later.

Except my friend comes back, faffs around next to me again for about 20 minutes and then obviously decides to give up and bug on out. He does say goodbye to me which I respond to by giving a wave. WHAT?!?!!

Someone slap me! Oh well. I'll know better for next time. The library has more than internet hot spots it would seem! Clearly didn't have my mojo when I packed up to go to the library.

walk like an.....old lady....

I've been a bit slack in the dating segment of my life of late. Frankly I've been training so hard for my Gold Coast run and the city to surf that all other social things have taken a step back.

The closest I got to a date was a 2 hour training session at the gym with a trainer whom I have felt for a while might have taken a liking to me. Put it this way the signs were there. Those signs were:

Coming to stretch near me when I am stretching

asking me how I am going with my training

generally hanging about looking awkward and nervous

Asking me simple questions like my name every time I see him (could be he's just forgetful or maybe I am!)

The session occurred because I have had some more time to myself during the day recently so I decided to up my training. I bounced into the gym one day and saw him. Feeling quite confident and bubbly I asked him if he wanted to train with me that day. He couldn't as he had a client coming but we arranged to train the next day to do legs.

The legs session arrives and to start with I turned up 30 minutes early so I ran on the treadmill and then spent the next 90 mins doing the most excrutiating leg weight work I have ever done. Even before I left the gym I knew I wouldn't be able to walk for the rest of the week, it was intense!! As the session ended he asked me if I'd like to catch up for a drink over the weekend. Of course I said yes since my rule about this whole thing is not to refuse a date with anyone reasonable! He's not bad looking but perhaps a bit of a westie! I told him I would call him after my run on Saturday. I just about managed to get home before what felt like rigormortis setting in.

The following two days was spent walking around like an old lady, not attractive, or worse I looked like I'd had a really good time the previous night which of course I hadn't so I couldn't even enjoy that thought!!

Come Saturday my legs had just about recovered enough to do my run but then my back had gone out during the 9km haul with my not quite ready legs and I simply had to let the personal trainer down this time. I wasn't walking correctly and my head was about to explode with my new pain a tension headache. I felt like I had been run over to be honest.

I tried to go out on the Sunday but the head was still affecting me so two drinks later on top of some very strong painkillers, I was home to bed by 8.30pm. Oh yes I am a successful dater! Christ!

Up to the Gold Coast this weekend for the run. A few days up there may give me a new lease of life so I can stop flirting with people I am trying to get business out of and actually flirt with people I can potentially get some loving out of. Need to get my priorities right!

Blah blah blah oops

This weekend started out with a big run in the pouring rain. Bodily I am feeling quite good about myself, I have lost a couple of kilos and my jeans are now requiring a belt to stay up. The run however left me totally exhausted (not that fit it seems) and then I had a coffee date with a remnant of the RSVP days.

Myself and this guy had been in contact over some weeks about catching up. He has actually cancelled on me twice usually with some lame excuse about being too tired. Can't be arsed more like. I wasn't too concerned as during our phone conversations I felt it becoming a laborious task to actually have a conversation. I put it down to perhaps him being a little shy and so when he texted me, yes texted, on Saturday morning to see if was up for a coffee that day I agreed, despite my hating being SMS'd to ask for a date, he had called whilst I was running to be fair to him.

The rain continued to lash down and the last thing I wanted to do was go out and meet some dude I'd met off the internet for coffee. Anyway we went for coffee, the conversation was again laboured, I yawned approximately 20 times during the 45 minutes of the date and then made the moves to end the date and leave. As I we exited the cafe I realised that someone had stolen my umbrella! The cheek of it! What does one do in such a situation? Is there umbrella stealing etiquette I need to be aware of?

I asked the lady in the cafe about it. She was bemused to say the least. After some consideration I took the umbrella closest in colour and size to my stolen one and retreated. The cafe girl said she was turning a blind eye since neither of us were sure of what the protocol was in this predicament! My date had by this point pretty much marched up the road without me. Clearly he was embarrassed about this situation but it wasn't his umbrella that had been filched and so he was happy to get out of there by the looks of it.

By his exiting behaviour (ie. swiftly) I took this to mean that we had mutually understood that this was the end of the road for us and we'd move on sweetly to whatever came up next. Not so, he sms'd me 10 minutes later to ask me if I wanted to play golf. My immediate thought was must be sent to the wrong person as I had only just told him over coffee that I had never played golf in my life nor had I any intention too since I found the game utterly intolerable. I think this may have been a correct assumption since my reply was "well I have to redo my CV so not today and I don't really play thanks.' I didn't hear back from him, not surprising I mean redoing your CV is about as similar a brush off as 'I'm washing my hair".

Went out that night to a friends birthday party and made a huge mistake thinking I may be attracted to a friend. What a mess! I had been talking to said friend for most of the night. Now, don't get me wrong this guy is hot and gets a lot of female attention. A lot of the females in the room were talking about how we had been chatting for most of the night. To me this was silly as said friend and I get along very well and had a lot to catch up on. A few drinks later and I was asked if I liked any of the boys. My response was my this guy I had been talking to but what I had meant to say was that if I was going to like someone it would be him for these reasons:

1) we get along really well

2) we can chat about shit for ages

3) he's a good looking bloke

4) he's creative and smart

That said, I made a complete twat out of myself as he actually had his eye on my mate who then pashed him, who then felt bad because of what I said and got upset, but as it goes we don't have any sexual attraction to each other so it was a right old balls up resulting in no one getting any! Jeez keep la bouche firmly shut Lushie!

Palmistry and vomit

Saturday started with a baby shower, no this is not something to think about on the dating richter scale. For a start no men are involved and also it's really quite a daunting thought for me let alone a male. 

Fortunately the friends whose baby shower it was has the good grace to be cool and it was a resounding success. A couple of glasses of bubbly later and I was almost ready to think about my night out. I picked up my little friend, we'll call her Bessie, and went back to mine for a few more pre-dancing drinks.

So off we go to Bungalow 8 to meet up with our other girlfriend. Upon arrival we were practically accosted by the doorman who was puffing himself up for some form of chat with us. Not so, Bessie leaps right into 'is there a problem? Let us in!'. Good on yer Bess, I didn't want to get into a fight with him but I did feel it coming on and so soon!

The original plan here was to meet our other girlfriends friends at some birthday party but somehow she couldn't find them in the bar. Had we been had??? Turns out they were late anyway so they arrived not long after us. We didn't even really meet them, Bessie was up for a dance and so Hugo's wasn't far away.

A friend of Bessie's had tagged along by this point. Her jamming partner it would seem. Strange bloke, didn't drink (always suspicious) and also read palms. He read our other friends palm first and seems he was spot on with the details. Quite enticing! I asked him to do mine. Well....this was not a good idea it turns out. He tells me I have a broken heart that I carry around with me and that he can't say anymore in front of my friends. I tell him he can but he refuses. He makes it sound so bad I start to get a little freaked.

By the time we get to Hugo's I am proper freaked out by this bloke. What does he need to tell me? What? What? What??!!??!

We get free cocktails thanks to a contact of Bessie's at the bar. And whilst the girls are faffing with toilet trips and drinks the palm pilot tells me that if I don't get over my broken heart I will never move on from anything and the universe will keep me trapped where I am. I will never be happy and I will have children with someone in two years time but this person will leave me because of this issue of my broken heart that I am not letting go of. 

Hmm food for thought. In fact it kind of ruined my night as I continued to think about it. Things got stranger from there as Bessie and the palm pilot fell out in a massive argument. Our other friend was hilariously pissed and ran off with some bloke or disappeared not sure. Bessie drank one too many cocktails and after dancing with a few randoms had a slump and I had to put her in a cab home (via a trip to the toilets for a big vom vom) nice!

I decided I had to have some sort of fun as things had just gone scrambled eggs right before my eyes. 

So, just before I put my little Bess Bess into a cab I saw this reasonably good looking guy with a bit of a questionable hair cut. I called him over and said to him "you know, you are a really good looking bloke but what the hell is going on with your hair???!' I have the martini's to thank for that little outburst! Anyway turns out it was a bit of an ice breaker. Ended up talking to him all night and was actually relieved that he wasn't like the rest of the hornbags in there who were quite frankly rubbing their penises up against me at every opportunity. Just when I was about to leave in disgust I find a gentleman. He even held my hand as we walked through the club to make sure he didn't lose me! What a sweetie. He's an ex professional soccer player apparently. Just like me to revert to type. Close friends will now by sighing and shaking their heads at this piece of information. I did say EX and he is now in construction. Although at one point I did consider this was a cover for being a drug dealer as there were some odd people hanging around him asking questions.

He was staying at friends place in the next street to mine and so we got a cab home. However, by this time it was almost 4am and I was turning into a pumpkin fast.

I did a runner and told him to stay and hang with his mates and I'd talk to him soon.

I had his number as he was calling me when I was getting my friend a cab earlier in the night and I also did have a bit of a party pash with him, which for me is a huge development since I have almost turned celebate of late and not through lack of trying! The most disturbing thing about him though was that he shares a birthday with my ex boyfriend and the ex was a twat. Maybe this is the universe giving me the chance to place a new meaning to that particular date! Let's hope so... 

Mind you....he hasn't called as yet...perhaps my leaving gave the wrong impression. Oh well, I want to maintain some dignity despite slating this guys hair style!

Working on it...

The rugby wasn't as successful as I had hoped. Mainly because there weren't that many people there, also my girlfriend I went with had arranged to meet some of her guy friends already, so it wasn't really appropriate to be off flirting it up with randoms when these boys were effectively our escorts for the evening.

A little disappointing but there was still hope for the pubs after right? No. We went to the Piano Bar. Not really my scene. I like boys in a pub - they feel comfortable enough to chat without that feeling that they need to impress you whilst in a swanky bar and are a bit more down to earth as far as I can tell.

I didn't stick around for long. It was dead due to a lot of people being away for the long weekend and the only guy to offer to buy me a drink started the drink buying proceedings by throwing my current drink on the floor! Yes, took it OUT of my hand and threw the contents on the floor. Classy. I was speechless until I blurted out he could buy me a glass of french champagne since he'd taken it upon himself to dispose of my drink for me.  He then proceeded to do the come hither finger to me to get me to sit next to him. Two firm NO's soon put a stop to that.

I've taken my profile off RSVP and I have vowed to NEVER use it again. It just didn't really work for me. I guess it does for some but for me it requires too much well...commitment...maybe that's my problem? Hmm....

I'm wondering if I am suited to dating at all? I was watching 'Girls of the playboy mansion' - an intelligent and informative piece of entertainment I am sure you will agree?! Kendra's mum was trying to get back on the dating scene and when asked what she was looking for she replied "I don't know I just want to be married. I don't want to do the dating thing!" Couldn't agree more. What with a lot of my friends either married, engaged or in serious relationship or now having babies I am really starting to feel left behind. I've never felt that before. It's a little worrying and stressful to the point that it's affecting my sleep. Which sounds ridiculous but I am thinking about it a lot. I kinda just want to be married too!

So, moving on. This weekend I have accepted an invitation to a party where I will know only 2 people. The potential for meeting new blood is high and I may even buy a new dress for it. Oh yes, something cute and cosy looking I think! It's absolutely freezing for goodness sakes and frankly I need a human hot water bottle (aka a man) to keep me warm pronto! Working on it. I keep working on it......

Tumbleweed

Is literally how I would describe my current dating activity. There is diddly squat going on. Admittedly I have not been as active as I could have been but I did go out randomly to a pub last friday and threw myself into a few blokes who were all dancing together. It clearly didn't work they probably thought I was a mad cougar. Perhaps dancing in the courtyard in the rain with the umbrella up wasn't such a good idea. It felt so good though!

It's bleeding freezing and wet in Sydney and it's really not conducive to going out. Well, not for me anyway. Things like PJ's, ugg boots and couches are screaming come to me and frankly I'm in.

I've also picked up a cold on the last day or two and so I can't imagine a walking snot factory is a good advertisement for "I'm single come and get me!"

It's a long weekend though and thus far I have planned to go to the Wallabies v Barbarians game in the members sections (fingers crossed my connection comes through with the goods). Now, this should be in theory a good place to find men. Rugby = men as far as I can see. A good friend of mine met her man at the rugby and she just had a baby with him. The odds are looking good. Not that I am aiming for a baby this time next year. A steady relationship will do thanks very much!

No doubt there will be more events to attend for a man sweep. There are rumours of a party too on Saturday night and Sunday drinks is a must in one of the many Paddo pubs. Hope this snot manages to go away by then. I'm filling up with the relevant drugs as we speak!

Dating at breakneck speed

I'm a little behind in my postings I'm afraid but frankly speed dating made me lose the will to live.

Quite honestly it is probably one of the weirdest and most exhausting experiences of my life. I would NEVER do it again and I really don't recommend it to anyone. I'm not even sure what the point of it is really.

First of all the place it was held in was questionable -  I had never heard of this place and it is not that far from where I live. Also it was basically a pokey little room with a poor excuse for a barman who could not even be bothered to man the bar during the 'break' in the event. I almost cause a riot trying to get more alcohol to get me through the horror of it all.

I knew it wasn't going to be a great experience when I spotted an odd looking half balding, skinny man at the bar. He was clearly part of the dating team and in all seriousness he looked like a peadophile. Whilst it's not adviseable to judge a book by it's cover, given the circumstances it's hard not to categorize people without using the physicalities as a benchmark.

I sat next to the only other 2 chicks there and proceeded to ask them if they had done anything like this before. To my surprise they both had and so given my thoughts on the phenomenon that is speed dating I am left wondering why on earth they decided to go back.

There were 18 guys and girls in the group. It quickly filled out with men who I would never likely talk to in your average bar set up so I wasn't hoping for much except for a wasted evening. Armed with a huge glass of wine I took my seat next to my allocated number and let the proceedings begin.

First up was a chef from South Africa. He was a small, skinny nervous looking bloke who had clearly no confidence when talking to the opposite sex. I felt sorry for him starting with me. He had a list of questions for christsake! Which of course I immediately pointed out with 'is that a list of questions?!?!? Not sure that's a good way to approach this.' Hmm I bet he thought thanks for that you opinionated bitch. 

What followed was an array of males across a vast spectrum. From bankers to musical salesmen, there were plenty of guys from India and Asia - not my cup of tea but to be honest they were all very polite and amusing at times. The dates lasted 4 minutes and the two fat chicks running it were extremely annoying constantly banging a bucket with a spoon. It certainly wasn't an enjoyable experience I have to say. I could have hit her over the head with that damn bucket let me tell you. There was an amusing russian guy who I proceeded to quiz about the women of the eastern block versus the aussie babe. He told me eastern block women are hell bent on finding a good man outside of russia because basically russian men come in 5 classifications. They are alocholics, revolutionaries, billionaires, mafia, victims of war. I asked him what he was, his answer......alcoholic. Hmm attractive. I think he was joking but given he seemed on the surface to be none of the others I'm guessing that's about as good as it gets unless you are a billionaire!

There were no stand outs and at the end they encourage you to say yes to people you normally wouldn't, I felt obliged to tick against 'friend' on some guys that in all honesty I wouldn't bother having more than well a 4 minute conversation with in a bar. Which it looks like I'd already done so it seemed like a waste of time! 

The next day I got all my results. 14 out of the 18 guys there said they would like to date me. I had ended up with 6 new friends. All of which either SMS'd or emailed me that same day. I was totally overwhelmed by the speed at which they replied, although given the name of the event not sure why I was surprised by that really! I have not replied to any of them. One of them even called to give me a serve for not replying! Thank god I didn't he's clearly so desperate he's getting angry about a person he met at speed dating!! Good lord what is the world coming to?!? No one should be that desperate that they think speed dating is the answer. It really is not worth it.

and a small fizzling out

Things are not going well. I'm at date 3 with an RSVP date and last night over dinner he asked me what I expected out of RSVP. I nearly choked on my chopstick and my immediate thought was "FARK! what does that mean?' So I panicked and replied that I wasn't expecting anything just having some fun and meeting people. I then went on about how anyone who expected anything from it was a total loon and needed their heads read since it's clearly bollox the whole thing. Something tells me he was one of those people and I had managed to completely belittle him in that one sentence. I then went on about how I was planning to go speed dating as well and that I presumed that it would be a total hoot and certainly not a means to actually finding someone. I mean how ridiculous. And yes, he has been speed dating and I am guessing took it seriously. He asked me why I was still on RSVP. I suspect this was a ploy to see if I was going to take my profile down for him but I told him the truth. 'Well, I've paid up for RSViP for another week so am going to see it out!'  

The evening was left with a small kiss on the cheek and a have a good weekend.

Oh well at least I managed to make it to date 3 which is unusual for me! 

So out tonight and then to the rugby tomorrow (alone! Prime perving to be had!)

To rugger or not

I was supposed to be going to see the local rugby team play with the 'man who likes mad crim birds' last weekend. It was my idea although I did somewhat regret it afterwards. I mean what was I thinking putting myself in a position whereby I had to be attentive and nice to a new dating partner when there are hot young nubile sports men to be ogling and flirting with? Madness I tell you! And why would I expose my secret perve fest place to him anyway? 

So I cancelled saying I was far too exhausted to deal with a crowd of people. This was true, the week had been pretty traumatic. Having tried to arrange for Sunday instead to meet up, I again cancelled in favour of the couch and also trying to apologise to my neighbours. 

Not thinking I agreed to a Friday night date this week. Panic hit just after the phone call. How the f**K am I going to get out of this. Friday night is far too much this early on. There's no escape route! No "I have a meeting in the morning so must be off now" or 'let's do brunch as I have to meet friends later" ooooo noooooo Friday night only means one thing. You are stuck with them ALL night.

Fortunately I have changed this to Thursday night now citing I had mixed up my Friday night plans with a girlfriend to be Thursday. More like I made her do it so I could get out of Friday with the date. 

So, what is wrong with this guy might you ask? Well, nothing really. He's kind, sincere, adorably nice. Problem is he's too nice and well it's just not that attractive. Christ! Will I ever learn? Perhaps it will just take time. I going to persevere just on my terms and why not!?

Tapas and legals

So this week has been eventful to say the least. The fall out after last Saturday's proceedings has been full on. I have had to have chats with legalaid, mediators, the police and my landlady about it all and basically explain myself like a naughty child. Subsequently the swallowing of pride has had to take place and an onslaught of apologies put out by myself.

My date this week went well despite my high stress levels. I asked that my date organise everything since I had no available thinking space due to my busy week of trouble. He did a good job and I was suitably impressed. He left me a message with full details and times, it has been noted! We met in the Green park for some pre dinner drinks whereby we chatted and I filled him in on the latest with my neighbours. He was sympathetic and agreed that it does seem to have been blown all out of proportion. Which was good because at the time I just needed someone to support me and not try to help or criticize. We then went for tapas where he had had the incite to book at table and even offered to request an outside table since I have this week taken up smoking again whilst I stress the bejesus out.

Lots of chatting over dinner all good and well. We then return to the green park for more drinks, at which point my date's hands get a little fruity and start fawning over my legs and arms and hands. A little bit too much for a second date I felt. I controlled this by making conversation points that required some hand gesturing on my part so as to release my hands from his grip. However, he would come back to it. It felt a bit too intimate for someone I have only met twice and this is the second time! 

As we walked down the street he went to hold my hand. Again I found this weird and way too forward for a second date. It was indeed a little uncomfortable. I hardly know this guy and I don't think given my week that I am receptive to this kind of approach just yet. 

Needless to say the next day I was unsure if I wanted to go on another date with this person due to the hand holding rubbish from the night before. He did send a text message to apologise for his octopus like behaviour at which I thanked him for recognising it. At least he has the balls to see that and attempt to rectify. He obviously has some great qualities.

We were due to go to the rugby yesterday but I pulled out as am extremely exhausted from the week from hell, he was fine about it and suggested I go for a walk to gain some balance.  I also got a parking ticket this week for a time when I was no where near the suburb let alone on the right side of the bridge! And the ranger lied on the infringement saying he chalked my tires! Not sure how when I or my car wasn't even there!!! GRRRRRRR. Must do some yoga.

Roast Lamb and then some Pig

I had a dinner party on Saturday night for 5 of my close friends. It was a roaring success of delicious roast lamb and roast potatoes with apple tart for dessert.

After dinner we played the rizla game and partook in some dancing. All was great until my neighbour (who hates me because I was once too loud on my phone on my balcony) called the police to complain I was making too much noise!

Quite alarming was this behaviour since he didn't even bother to ask me to turn down the music nor our conversation level. The police were aggressive to say the least and the anger which arose in me due to my neighbours insolence resulted in my being man handled off my own front doorstep bare footed and with no phone or keys and thrown rather heavy handedly into the back of the paddy wagon. 

Quite the shock as you can imagine. It might have been something to do with my response of "What the F....! Don't you guys have better things to do like find murderers or something?! What a joke!" 

Nonetheless there I was cold and shoeless thinking lordy what am I going to do now?! My guests for all I know are unaware of my current status and are happily drinking red wine in my lounge room whilst my front door is open to the crackheads and robbers of my local area with me about to be escorted off to the local cop shop. 

Luckily this was not the case. My rough man handling by the cops had been witnessed by one of my guests who was minding his own business having a ciggy on my balcony. He came down and managed to talk the piggies into letting me out. His description of me in the van was of total decorum and poise! Hmm... that's not what was going through my head I can tell you! But it was a relief to be out of there as I really didn't know what I was going to do about it all!

Anyway, after being let out I realised I was bloody furious at my treatment for having a dinner party with god forbid some fun and frollicks going on. So I confronted my neighbours which resulted in the police paying me a visit again, this time there were more of them and this time I got a ticket for noise pollution or some other crap, I wasn't actually listening to what he was saying I was so blind and deaf with rage and fury that I screwed up said ticket and threw it at that awful rough handed man's head. He was indeed the true definition of a pig.

So the next morning I had arranged to have brunch with an RSVP date. I was really in no fit state having some depressive feelings about the over the top treatment from the police the night before and a monster hangover to boot. My date sent me a text "I've got a seat outside see you soon". Holy moly! Seat? Outside? Where? What's going on? Did I already make these arrangements? I was waiting for a call to get time and place etc....! I immediately call him to congratulate him on finding an outside seat but to ask where the seat he has found is? An embarrassing 'we agreed this over text' conversation ensued at which he was right and I was wrong and to which I then had to semi explain my situation from the night before which went something like this...

'Well you see the thing is, I almost got arrested last night from front door step whilst having a dinner party and I'm a little shaken up and dreadfully hungover. Can you give me 30 minutes?" Thankfully he offered to come closer to me whilst I got ready and so we made an arrangement to meet at a local coffee shop down the road from me.

When I arrived I launched straight into my horrific story of the night before and went on and on and on and on.....to which it occurred to me after some time that he might think me a little mad.

He did but he found it hilarious. He also paid for breaky and then walked me home. He then sent me a thank you message and asked if he could see me again. I was quite frankly surprised given what I had just put him through! I mean I had virtually told him I'm a reckless drunk who has run ins with her neighbours and the police. Well that's basically what I was on Saturday night.  I replied by thanking him for wanting to see me again and accepted the invitation to another date. I mean how could I say no after that?!?!

Date 2 with "I like mad birds who might be criminals" man is on Wednesday (tomorrow and he's already offered to pay for dinner. Things are looking up!)