Yes it's come to this. Being asked out on Facebook. At first I didn't know who he was but after checking out his photo's and confirming he is hot I accepted his request to be friends and sent him a message.
I told him I couldn't recall how I knew him but if not why not! He messaged back and told me we have met in Iguana bar 2 years ago. Ooohh those were the days, when Iguana bar was a dive and would let you in even if you were on an intravenous drip filled with pure alcohol. Yes, I miss that place.
Anyway, the date was set and we met up in The White horse pub in Surry hills. It all started out well, he was pleasant, bought me a drink and didn't talk about himself like the last one. But that was the problem. He didn't talk himself or in fact anything at all. In fact, he didn't talk. Or should I say use words, it was mostly a series of grunts if I was lucky enough to get a reaction out of him.
After quite some time of me chattering away and asking him questions which were greeted with one word answers and the death of that avenue of conversation, I started to get a bit fed up. In an attempt to salvage this date I suggested we go to another pub. Perhaps a change of atmosphere might get him talking.
It was wishful thinking. As we were walking down the road I said "you don't talk much do you?!" His possible one and only sentence of the evening was "I don't have an opinion about anything so no." What?? How can one not have an opinion about anything?? are you a moron??
Clearly this made me question him more, after much poking and prodding he pulled me aside and kissed me. No doubt in a ploy to shut me up. I was rather surprised since it didn't really appear this person even liked me! It didn't work. I continued trying my best to get this infuriating bastard to speak. It did feel a bit like he wasn't after a chat and probably just looking for some bed action.
But no amount of riling up worked and the only person who got riled up was me. I considered breaking my glass and stabbing myself in the eye again but instead I picked up my bag and said to him " you know what? I'm going to leave. I've had enough of talking to myself" He tried to stop me saying he was sorry and that I should stay. I said "what for??? Why did you bother asking me out if you weren't going to talk to me?! What was the point? It's a total waste of my time and I have better things to do than talk to a monosyllabic monkey all night!" He said he just wasn't much of a conversationist, arrogant arsehole more like!
He tried to get me to take him home so he could feast himself on my leftover roast chicken and probably have a feast on me but it wasn't happening. Who does this guy think he is??!? I just told him he was a monosyllabic monkey! I was now totally turned off by him and hot or not, you have to be able to talk to someone. Not all good looking men are idiots but this one certainly was. What a disappointment. I thought with the fact that he chased me down on Facebook he would have at least had something to say! I'm so confused!
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