I have recently been on two dates like this in the same week! Not sure what on earth was going on that week. Perhaps the planets were aligned so that I meet two complete tosspots one after the other.
The first date was with an older man, at 42 one would expect him to be able to hold conversation and be somewhat gentlemanly and more conscious of his lady friend. Not so. He talked about himself from the minute I walked in to the pub without so much as taking a breath. This could be put down to nervousness but I think that a divorcee might have some confidence when it comes to dating again.
First of all he told me all about his wife and kids and how annoying his daughters were because they were so demanding and wanted him to buy them things all the time. I asked him how old they were at which is replied "I don't like to talk about my family it's very personal"!! Er...wasn't that what you were just doing??
Ok... so then he goes on to talk about work (boring) telling me what I did and how it was amazing (yet I had only managed to say one word when asked which was 'photography') and then tells me about his one and only punch up in a bar.
Interesting! He goes into full detail about said punch up which at times was pretty gruesome ad graphic.
If I tried to ask him anything he responded immediately with I don't like to talk about myself, I don't really offer up much in the way of information! I was flabbergasted! I just thought 'would you like me to replay this scenario for you??" At one point I almost fell asleep listening to the boring old fart who I could barely understand through his thick south african accent. I had to hold on to the sides of my face and pull my eyes open!
This was when I realised that I could quite easily just smash the glass in front of me and stab myself in the eye just to have a good enough reason to get the hell out of there! Which made me laugh and I started smiling at some inappropriate point in one of his many dull stories. Oops! Busted!
It was when he started telling me what kind of person I am and what I am into that I started to get riled up. I mean how would he know!? He's not asked me one question about myself at all.
As a diversion and a reason to call someone for a get out excuse I went outside and smoked a ciggy against all my principles. And also to attempt to put him off me. I called a friend whom told me about some party that night in the city. Returning to BB (boring bastard) I told him I had been invited somewhere very exclusive and I needed to go for the purposes of networking.
He asked me if I would like to see him again. I think my eyes almost popped out of my head! Not bloody likely mate.
"No. Not really" I say. Clearly he wasn't expecting this! "why?" he asks. "Well I don't think we have much in common and I have also met someone else recently" (complete lie but seemed likely to work more than anything else).
"Ok well you like wine don't you?" he says. "I'll take you to the hunter valley, we'll stay at peppers, do you know it. Of course you do...blah blah blah...." And he's off again. Persistant bastard!! What part of NO don't you understand you freak of nature???!??!
I leave, say goodbye and practically run up the road to get away as fast as I can! I still can't believe I was on this date...so odd!
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