Anyway said friend has been coaching me through this second foray into Internet dating as understandably I'm not convinced it's generally a successful format for me.
We discuss at length how I should write my profile and what type of pictures I should put up. The general consensus is that I should aim for INNOCENT and less OI OI ERE's ME TITS.
Naturally of course the idea is to find a potential partner not someone to have a good old bonk fest with. I mean, I don't think it's hard to find a Mr Right now tonight. The average male is pretty much always up for it so anyone who says they can't get it in this city is blatantly lying. It's finding the man who wants to stick around that is generally the problem.
RSVP is no different to the wild world of bar life to be honest. There are the guys who are clearly on their for sex and there are those who are clearly social deviants and should be avoided at all costs. Much like out in the bar. If you see a guy who looks like a potential paedo then chances are that guy is on RSVP possibly lying about himself in his profile with a shot taken in the days where he looked a lot less paedo and only slightly creepy. The thing is even if you do choose a slightly less peado shot it's RSVP and WE KNOW you're creepy. It's screams out so loud from your profile it becomes a ick fest just to delete the kiss you sent to get you off my screen. EEK!
Then there are the out and out douche bags. You know the one, he generally has some black and white shirtless profile shot with him attempting to look like he was once in a boy band. This is closely followed up with a shot of him on his bike, in his sports car and doing some extreme sports. If you're really lucky he will also have a shot of him with a cute puppy. Bleuuurrgghh. His profile headline will be some cheesy attempt at hiding his blatant reason for being on there which is for the most part sex. Then his write up with have the inevitable bullshit about how he likes to 'cook up a storm' in the kitchen and how he has 'travelled a fair bit'. Then he will talk about what a gent he is and how he likes walks on the beach and the clincher being that his favourite film is 'The Shawshank Redemption". This man lacks imagination and will likely be a dud in bed. His hope is that YOU send HIM a kiss because he is FAR too stingy to pay for a stamp to send YOU and email. Why would he, he's too pretty to pay right?! This man should be avoided.
DOUCHEBAG ALERT!!!
You may think I am being too picky but after much discussion about what to do and what not to do on RSVP my friend and I are in agreement that you can be as picky as you like on RSVP after all it's really a chance to ask for everything you look for in the perfect man. Whether that be his height, his hair colour, or where he lives. When you've got past the surface stuff you really need to look for some comedy in the profile read. One of my favourite guys on there has his headline as "I have a beard, this makes me a man" GOLD! I love it, I want him to send me a kiss but alas he has not. I think that one of the rules my gf and I made up was we will never send a kiss EVER. We are to be chased on this site and that is that.
Thus far I have had the attention of every male on there in the 40-50 age group some guys who are clearly on the creepy side, a few hilarious douche bags and those with some promise. I've replied in the positive to all those with promise. I've only had one bite and I'm worried he's a bit boring. He's may just be reserved but I'm not getting much from him over email and he's not that forthcoming with organising to meet up. I've suggested it and supplied my number. I still await!
I am an RSVP failure by the looks of it. BOO!!! Maybe I am coming across as a lady version of douche bag. I didn't use cook up a storm I promise!
Birthday this weekend and I have a hot dress and a spray tan to parade. Let's see what the weekend brings!
No comments:
Post a Comment