Since I have worked in the advertising industry for 10 years I am possibly more susceptible to campaign key phrases and the last one from the RSVP TVC stayed with me. Perhaps because it rang true.
So, this in mind my profile on RSVP has the following headline:
"I believed the ad and realised that the percentage of men I usually meet are tools. Apparently the rest are on here...."
Ok so in a roundabout way this is an open minded statement. I am open to the idea of meeting someone online but I still think it's an odd way to go about it. But I have friends who have met, married and procreated with people from RSVP and so I must give it a go before I poo poo it entirely as a concept.
I was slightly calculated about my profile though I have to admit. Naturally I did some research on what the other women on the site were using as their hook. From what I could see a total load of tosh about beach walks, loving friends and being bubbly or some other vaguely disguised princess like quality. Thinking this is far from how I want to be perceived I put up a photograph of me with no make-up on, taken from the camera on my macbook, not the most flattering but did the trick. I don't think I look like a horror nor do I look like Vampires bride with a "I'm a model" pout stuck on the front of my face. I also took the liberty of using comedy as the main part of my 'about me' section. Finishing it off after some guff about reading sunday papers whilst drinking coffee and laughing alot with the line:
"I'd like to put walks on the beach but only because it's ridiculous and do people really do that???"
This, I must say has had a lot of the men who have contacted me quite amused. Which I guess was the point of it. My hook was to stand out from the crowd by using what the crowd use in a different way.
It's not just the chicks who right horrendous profiles though. The walks on the beach line actually appears in all seriousness in far too many profiles for my liking. It's almost laughable except I feel a bit sorry for these people as it's damned hard to write a profile about yourself. What we see ourselves as is probably quite different to what we actually are and certainly very different to how our friends would view us.
Some of the men on the site actually use what I was take as quite threatening or at least it has an underlying tone of that in their headlines and profiles. Things like: Don't reply to kiss and ask me to waste a stamp on you if you are not going to reply. Or: No game players or princesses.
ok so we've all been guilty of some game play at some time or another and sometimes when you start talking to someone whether online or in a pub you realise that person is a twat and you no longer want to continue chatting to them. In cyberspace if someone spends god forbid a STAMP on you (approx. $10) then you are obliged to spank off your time chatting with this fool about his love of V8's or something. It's the equivalent of buying someone a drink in a bar. Whilst you might not like the fact that they took the drink and ran at least you know instantly that there is nothing there to pursue. Not so in cyberspace. It kinda freaks me out and this is why I think I have thus far been unsuccessful.
But let's get on to the actual dates. So far I have been on 3 dates. Not much in the space of 6 weeks I must admit but there has been a lot of online chatting and not much action.
Date 1: Profile read: 6ft tall, dark hair, blue eyes, 34. Person who turned up: 5ft9 at best dark hair, blue eyes 34.
The date was strange from the offset. D1 we shall call him or 6ft wannabe basically spent the rest of the time I was with him trying to outwit me with his quips and odd behaviour. He's not as quick witted as me though and I walked all over him with my counterslams which left him fumbling for words and falling over his own jokes. It ended with him picking up his phone and reading and laughing out loud to a text message right in front of me. The height of rudeness! What a prick! I said my goodbyes and left. He subsequently asked me out 4 times after that via text message which I basically ignored after being polite on the first two and then received a a message 2 weeks later along the lines of "cool. See you then." Ok why are you still thinking about me?!?
Date 2: profile read: 6ft, brown hair, green eyes, 36 builder. Person who turned up: 6ft, green eyes, 36 builder. So far so good. Quite handsome too. Felt myself actually thinking there might be something there in the 'sexy times' stakes. We had a good amount of chat, he was very polite. He also had children but that wasn't something i was too concerned about. We finished the date with a kiss and decided to do date number 2 at the easter show with his kids......
.....oh my good lord. What was I thinking agreeing to that???
Date 2 with Date 2 was a disaster. I was open to it spending the day with his kids. But he was ill prepared for a man with a 4 and 5 year old. He had bought tickets for him and his daughters to the show prior to me arriving at the train station to meet him. Hmmm....ok I can let that go tickets are pricey and there are 3 of them. He was feeding them pies and sausage rolls so they were covered in tomato sauce and pastry already. He had no tissues with which to clean these little tikes up with and frankly no one should want to discuss parenting techniques on a second date but the date continued like this: youngest child was horrendously naughty the entire day. Threw about 14 tantrums and wet herself. Both children were stuffed with more ice cream, lollies and fizzy drinks than I have ever seen a small person consume. The entire day was spent doing what naughty tantrum lady wanted to do. I had to pay for my own lunch and theirs after negotiating with madam for some me time in the day to eat before I fainted. We had to queue up for 20 minutes in the ATM line because he didn't get money before we left like any normal person would do. I spent all day cleaning up dirty hands and faces with varying amounts of serviettes I picked up here and there. Kids are hard but I reckon the key is to be organised. But what would I know I don't have any yet.
The agreement was that he would at least get me a showbag for my trouble. Except he spent all his showbag money on the girls and didn't even offer me a lolly.
I left in a hurry with a very bad headache and utterly exhausted. We have never spoken since funnily enough!
Date 3: This guy looked like a model in his photos and a little pretentious. My flattie and I were laughing at him as his photo's were very blue steel and so I felt I had to meet up with him purely to see if he was true to his photos's. Simple answer...No. He had clearly put some weight on since then and they were model photo's so probably about 10 years old. Oh dear. He was a nice chappie though and we had a very pleasant date. The art gallery for the archibald and then wine and dinner at a local wine bar. He paid for everything and didn't mind when I ordered a bottle of decently priced french wine which was delicious! Alas, I didn't fancy him and whilst he did ask me out for dinner a couple more times I was gracious enough to tell him I had no romantic interest in him and wished him well on his search. To which he wished me luck back.
Date 4: I cancelled last night as I was not in the mood. Bad attitude but this one can wait.
Out of the many contact kisses I have had on the site many of them have been dismissed for such things as poor spelling, bad hair, bad teeth, dodgy photo's (like topless look at my abs ones) and geographical vicinity. I think I might be misguided in using RSVP as a tool to my dating success. I will give it 3 more weeks before I check out of there to pursue another avenue.
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