Friends - check. I have those, quite a lot actually. A good mix of male, female and downright weird.
Family - check. Yes I have that and for the most part I don't have a huge problem with them. I'm not that close to my parents insomuch that I feel the need to tell my mother every detail of my life or run to my Daddy when I have a slight monetry issue. So all healthy on that front. My brother on the other hand is a possible issue. We don't talk. Not because we fell out. But because we don't have anything in common or anything to talk about. This is due to the fact that he had a very serious car accident when I was 11 and he is now severely brain damaged and paralysed. This bothers me sometimes. I feel I have lost a sibling and never really had chance to have that relationship that other people have with their brothers and sisters. We effectively grew up apart since he was mostly in hospital and by the time he was living at home I was in that stage of my teens where hanging with my disabled brother was an absolute no no. Ashamed as I am of that now, I am sure most people can relate to how it feels to be 15 and that everything to do with your family is utterly embarrassing.
I then left for university and my life went off in a different direction to where he was stuck due to his injuries. It's emotionally time consuming as a sibling to experience this. On the one hand you feel the need to grieve the loss and on the other you still need to be there to support your family. I never really melded the two very well, I never wanted any of that in my life and so felt I had to leave England to try and understand it all.
From a family's point of view this was the most horrific thing I could have ever done. But I had to be selfish about it all otherwise my life would have been dictated by that one incident. Believe it or not it doesn't matter how far away I am geographically from it. It is still with me wherever I go and like it or not it still has the power to dictate so much of what my life is about.
This is where I believe my relationship delving needs to start.
Life partner: work in progress
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