Monday, February 13, 2012

Stupid Cupid

So looks like Valentines day is upon us again. I must admit it crept up on me and mostly because I couldn't give a rats ass about it. It's just another day and having been through many singles years and crappy relationships where the excuse from said male is 'why be romantic on only one day of the year?" yes why when you can basically not be romantic at all throughout the rest of the year loser. That's why we are no longer together TOOL! It's a standard issue statement from most men I know so let's just be honest with ourselves ladies...


They hate everything about it. Without going in the historical or religious aspects to it, Hallmark basically own valentines day and are pretty much to blame for the entire hoo har that is has become. The thought of having to spend an extortionate amount of cold hard cash on a bunch of roses, box of chocolates or some shite set menu at an overcrowded restaurant makes them want to run a mile. Never mind having to actually make a statement of love via a card!

The hills where are the hills?!?

If anything is going to make a man run away it's having to admit he has this thing called FEELINGS to you the person he puts his penis inside on a regular basis.

Boys you do need to be aware that vally day is actually of some importance to a lot of us ladies and if you miss the opp to get your annual bj then it's your own fault for not knowing your partner very well. You don't have to go all out the main point is your missus just wants to feel wanted and loved and that in a nutshell means she wants a bit of your time. one on one, just the two of you.
That really is the secret to a successful VDay bang.

So let's look at some creative ways to make valentines day a romantic day without all the fuss:

  1. Cook her dinner, light some candles, play some sexy times music and woo the pants off her
  2. Run her a bath then give her a massage, candles her pretty much going to be standard across the board here so be prepared! Get in the bath with her if you can fit!
  3. If you live near the beach tell her your going to surprise her and then grab a blanky, a bottle of her favourite vino and sit on the beach with fish and chips watching the sunset. (take some tealights for extra romance if you like)
  4. Have a carpet picnic if you can't be arsed to go out - get some nice cheeses, wine and sit and talk for a while. Play scrabble or chess if you are so inclined.
  5. If you're really lazy then get a DVD of the sort of movie you would NEVER watch but she would love  and order food in. Don't forget the wine - wine is imperitive  for removal of pants.
  6. Make a chocolate fondue and buy strawberries and marshmallows to feed to each other
  7. Play strip poker with each other
  8. Give her a foot massage and ask her about her day over a glass of wine or a beer.
  9. Go for a walk along the beach *extreme cliche
  10. Say happy valentines day darling, give her a kiss, tell her you love and appreciate her and that you are looking forward to spending the night with her. She will melt!
Final tips turn off the phone and the TV and DO NOT play special ops computer game or whatever is the trend now. It's not going to get you any brownie points.

Just as a side note I once made a bikini out of bubble wrap for my boy on v day in the hope we could roll around and make popping noises. Yes I have some odd ideas. He loved it because it was original! So get thinking!
Cupid sends his regards....


  1. Special Ops is a game from LAST CENTURY!!! Get with the program, it's all about Modern Warfare 3 now!

    Love the blog though

  2. I like your writing but think you've got it wrong. Speaking personally (as a man) it's not the being romantic aspect I dislike but the lack of imagination and spontaenity Valentines forces on us all. I think romance is not about grand gestures but rather small, thoughtful ones.
    Just a thought!
    PS Loved the bubble wrap bikini idea :)