Library boy update....

The other night I was on my way to dinner with a friend. I had only that day been thinking 'what on earth happened to library boy/Sticky bar boy?'

Whilst discussing the subject as I was crossing the road with my friend who should pass my by but Library boy! What are the odds?!?!? Totally freaked me out.

He didn't see me as he was chatting away to a rather hot and young looking chick. I said hello to him as our paths crossed right in the middle of the road. He looked shocked but said hello back in that 'do I know you?' tone.

I couldn't believe it!! That's where you were then? With your bleeding girlfriend!! Typical!

Of course my friend tells me I am possibly jumping to conclusions but who's to say? I mean she was hot, so is he, there were no other 'friends' there and it looked a bit 'datey' to me.

After dinner we discuss which pub he might be in. I say it's the Cricketers Arms she says it's The Clock. After much discussion and an agreement we would go to both, it turns out I was right. NOt that I am stalking him but we do need to settle this girlfriend/friend debate said friend and I were having. Whilst sipping on an unnecessary wine (I'd had enough by this point) he comes down the stairs with the girl. I freak, my friend does the beady eye whilst I have my back to the situation.

She reckons he sees me. I maintain he didn't. After much discussion and a few cheeky glanes to see the body language we both agree it's probably a girlfriend. He walks right past and is closely followed by the girl. Agreement sealed.

Hmm guess that was a bum lead then eh!?

Dates with fatalities part 2

So date number two of the week happened on the friday with a boy who had tracked me down on Face book.

Yes it's come to this. Being asked out on Facebook. At first I didn't know who he was but after checking out his photo's and confirming he is hot I accepted his request to be friends and sent him a message.

I told him I couldn't recall how I knew him but if not why not! He messaged back and told me we have met in Iguana bar 2 years ago. Ooohh those were the days, when Iguana bar was a dive and would let you in even if you were on an intravenous drip filled with pure alcohol. Yes, I miss that place.

Anyway, the date was set and we met up in The White horse pub in Surry hills. It all started out well, he was pleasant, bought me a drink and didn't talk about himself like the last one. But that was the problem. He didn't talk himself or in fact anything at all. In fact, he didn't talk. Or should I say use words, it was mostly a series of grunts if I was lucky enough to get a reaction out of him.

After quite some time of me chattering away and asking him questions which were greeted with one word answers and the death of that avenue of conversation, I started to get a bit fed up. In an attempt to salvage this date I suggested we go to another pub. Perhaps a change of atmosphere might get him talking.

It was wishful thinking. As we were walking down the road I said "you don't talk much do you?!" His possible one and only sentence of the evening was "I don't have an opinion about anything so no." What?? How can one not have an opinion about anything?? are you a moron??

Clearly this made me question him more, after much poking and prodding he pulled me aside and kissed me. No doubt in a ploy to shut me up. I was rather surprised since it didn't really appear this person even liked me! It didn't work. I continued trying my best to get this infuriating bastard to speak. It did feel a bit like he wasn't after a chat and probably just looking for some bed action.

But no amount of riling up worked and the only person who got riled up was me. I considered breaking my glass and stabbing myself in the eye again but instead I picked up my bag and said to him " you know what? I'm going to leave. I've had enough of talking to myself" He tried to stop me saying he was sorry and that I should stay. I said "what for??? Why did you bother asking me out if you weren't going to talk to me?! What was the point? It's a total waste of my time and I have better things to do than talk to a monosyllabic monkey all night!" He said he just wasn't much of a conversationist, arrogant arsehole more like!

He tried to get me to take him home so he could feast himself on my leftover roast chicken and probably have a feast on me but it wasn't happening. Who does this guy think he is??!? I just told him he was a monosyllabic monkey! I was now totally turned off by him and hot or not, you have to be able to talk to someone. Not all good looking men are idiots but this one certainly was. What a disappointment. I thought with the fact that he chased me down on Facebook he would have at least had something to say! I'm so confused!

Dates with fatalities part 1

Have you ever been on a date whereby you wanted to hurt yourself in order to get out of the date?

I have recently been on two dates like this in the same week! Not sure what on earth was going on that week. Perhaps the planets were aligned so that I meet two complete tosspots one after the other.

The first date was with an older man, at 42 one would expect him to be able to hold conversation and be somewhat gentlemanly and more conscious of his lady friend. Not so. He talked about himself from the minute I walked in to the pub without so much as taking a breath. This could be put down to nervousness but I think that a divorcee might have some confidence when it comes to dating again.

First of all he told me all about his wife and kids and how annoying his daughters were because they were so demanding and wanted him to buy them things all the time. I asked him how old they were at which is replied "I don't like to talk about my family it's very personal"!! Er...wasn't that what you were just doing??

Ok... so then he goes on to talk about work (boring) telling me what I did and how it was amazing (yet I had only managed to say one word when asked which was 'photography') and then tells me about his one and only punch up in a bar.

Interesting! He goes into full detail about said punch up which at times was pretty gruesome ad graphic.

If I tried to ask him anything he responded immediately with I don't like to talk about myself, I don't really offer up much in the way of information! I was flabbergasted! I just thought 'would you like me to replay this scenario for you??" At one point I almost fell asleep listening to the boring old fart who I could barely understand through his thick south african accent. I had to hold on to the sides of my face and pull my eyes open!

This was when I realised that I could quite easily just smash the glass in front of me and stab myself in the eye just to have a good enough reason to get the hell out of there! Which made me laugh and I started smiling at some inappropriate point in one of his many dull stories. Oops! Busted!

It was when he started telling me what kind of person I am and what I am into that I started to get riled up. I mean how would he know!? He's not asked me one question about myself at all.

As a diversion and a reason to call someone for a get out excuse I went outside and smoked a ciggy against all my principles. And also to attempt to put him off me. I called a friend whom told me about some party that night in the city. Returning to BB (boring bastard) I told him I had been invited somewhere very exclusive and I needed to go for the purposes of networking.

He asked me if I would like to see him again. I think my eyes almost popped out of my head! Not bloody likely mate.

"No. Not really" I say. Clearly he wasn't expecting this! "why?" he asks. "Well I don't think we have much in common and I have also met someone else recently" (complete lie but seemed likely to work more than anything else).

"Ok well you like wine don't you?" he says. "I'll take you to the hunter valley, we'll stay at peppers, do you know it. Of course you do...blah blah blah...." And he's off again. Persistant bastard!! What part of NO don't you understand you freak of nature???!??!

I leave, say goodbye and practically run up the road to get away as fast as I can! I still can't believe I was on this date...so odd!

Sticky Geek

The other night I met up with some of my girlfriends at Sticky Bar in Surry Hills. It's a great bar and somewhat unknown to the masses making it a more salacious evening out.

The evening started well or so I thought, there was a bit of a queue and a rather spectacular looking man working the door list. Naturally this made me feel good, girl on her own, no problem getting in, will just flash a smile at the hottie with the clipboard.

Apparently not, well not in front of an audience anyway. most of the queue were turned away due to the place being full. WHAT? it's 7.30pm!! what kind of place is this??

Since I had arranged to meet my girlfriends there and they were already upstairs getting lubricated I wasn't planning on moving. After all, read previous statement - girl on own etc....

I refused to move and just stood there pretending to be sending a text message. Then, to my horror two chicks walk straight up to the door say that they have dinner reservations and are immediately let in.

I flash my said 'hot now maybe not' friend a look of "excuse me??"... Thankfully what I get back tells me he's going to let me in I just have to wait until the idiot blokes hanging around have left.

When they finally do I get escorted upstairs by my now hot again friend. Turns out he's an actor when he's not working this door, he can act out on my door any night he likes!

Finally I meet up with my friends and sit down to have a drink. In doing so I notice there are a few hotties in the room. Hmm - note to self this place is good!! One of these hotties proceeds to trip over one of my friends feet, she doesn't mind since he is HOT HOT HOT. It was then that I realise that this little piece of molten is indeed my library boy! Oh good lord there is a god. I can now do what I should have done in the library and flirt outrageously with him! Yay!

A little too excited and perhaps a tad oiled, I bounce up to library boy with my opening line ....

"Hi, I met you in the library! You sat next to me! Remember? You were looking for a hot spot and then you were measuring something with you hands blah blah blah..."

After what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time, which I spent slowly being horrified at the "I met you in the library" line??? His expression changes to recognition and I'm out of the woods - maybe. I mean, I still said the geekiest line known to man. "I met you in the library"..!

Anyway he sits down and we get chatting, I ask him what he was doing in the library, he tells me he is a writer and has a book deal (melt) and that he is writing a travel book, that he also rides motorbikes for a living for Yamaha (double melt, in fact I think I just slipped off my chair). So whilst I am totally falling in lust with this man my devil side then pipes up. "Oh really?? I like Ducati's myself" What the fuck!?!?! WHY did I say that?! Why??

And yes, he goes off to get a drink. So thinking I have blown it again I get back into the champers and the girly chat.

Then, he passes us to go down and have a cigarette and he makes eyes at me as he goes. F*ck it. I'm going to smoke despite having given up. Can't miss this opportunity.

Off I go and see hot door man who I then ask if he has seen any hot boys go by. He tells me he doesn't know what a hot boy looks like. "Pah!" I say "of course you do! You look in the mirror everyday I presume!!?"

I find my man, light up and proceed to be about as silly as you can get but thankfully my smart silly comes out and I am as funny as I can be. He laughs at my jokes, my banter with a man dressed as Michael Jackson and he even laughs at my 'runningmanogram' - I thing I recently made up. It goes something like this : Sing happy birthday to a friend and break out the runningman whilst singing - don't forget to change sides at some point to add interest.

Yes I did this in front of library boy. Thankfully it had a positive effect since he was laughing (possibly at me but laughing all the same).

We all troop back upstairs and more drinking is had followed by some dancing (yes close to hot man but it was a small space!) Hot door man comes up and he is friends with library boy. Double trouble! He tells me they are both there every friday night. Good tip if I was a stalker! They stand next to each other and alcohol gets the better of me. I ask if I can have a hot boy sandwich and start rubbing myself up against them. Hmm real classy Lushie!!! He seems to like this! I wonder why! Talk gets a bit hot and steamy as we discuss the possibility of sex in the library! Well why not!? It was part of my opening line after all!

After a few filthy moments of chat he and his mates go to leave, he asks me if I would like to join him at Rambutan down the road. Unfortunately I have to say no since I had a flight early in the morning to the Gold coast for the running festival I am taking part in (put that in to make me look fit - which I am!) He asks me for my number which is a good sign. So I tell him and as he goes to put my name followed by 'sticky bar', "no! put library girl"! Yeah good one geek!!

Needless to say, he hasn't called. That was 2 weeks ago!! Ooooh dear. Maybe I should return to sticky bar....

Sqeeky Geek

I've recently had my working hours reduced to 3 days a week. You might think this would allow for a lot more dating time but I've spent most of it trying to get more work and focussing on bettering myself.

This bettering myself involved in me spending some time in the library, which to my delight turned out to be half a day spent next to a particularly hot man. I was so ill prepared for something like this to happen though and I was a bag of nerves as said hot man made it quite obvious he was going to sit next to me for the next 4 hours. I was in the daggiest clothes you could imagine with unwashed hair in a pony tail and very minimal make-up. Clearly I was horrified at the prospect of a cool looking, tall, dark, creative type sitting next to me looking in such a state.

Still he sat next to me and proceeded to ask me about whether where I was sitting was a hot spot. Now, one could take that as a bit of innuendo and unintended I am sure but had I been feeling top of my game I may have made some 'Carry on...' style comment followed by a Sid James filthy laugh. But I didn't and really only managed to squeak out a 'no, it's not I've had to use my own wireless connection here" CRINGE!!! What a total geek!

Anyway he proceeds to sit down and put his headphones on. Meanwhile I bury myself into my books berating myself for a missed opportunity. Whilst pretending to ignore my said friend he then starts to mimic a measurement with his hands. My immediate thought being 'oh here it is the this is how long my cock is gesture'. I look up and have a little chortle to myself, a which point he asks me if I think that the distance he is looking at is about 60cm. Right ok. "Well," I say " your average ruler is about 30cm and that looks about double so yeah, 60cm'. "Cheers he says" end of conversation. Again what a GEEK!!

By this time clearly my friend had had enough and packed up, as he left he told me he was going to lunch, again a confident Lushie may have realised that it's lunchtime and this could be an invitation. Perhaps a good response might be 'oh really where you going? I'm pretty hungry myself" but no. I say 'oh ok! Enjoy".

I almost punched myself in the head. After a few sighs I decided to just got on with some more reading and then go back home for lunch later.

Except my friend comes back, faffs around next to me again for about 20 minutes and then obviously decides to give up and bug on out. He does say goodbye to me which I respond to by giving a wave. WHAT?!?!!

Someone slap me! Oh well. I'll know better for next time. The library has more than internet hot spots it would seem! Clearly didn't have my mojo when I packed up to go to the library.

walk like an.....old lady....

I've been a bit slack in the dating segment of my life of late. Frankly I've been training so hard for my Gold Coast run and the city to surf that all other social things have taken a step back.

The closest I got to a date was a 2 hour training session at the gym with a trainer whom I have felt for a while might have taken a liking to me. Put it this way the signs were there. Those signs were:

Coming to stretch near me when I am stretching

asking me how I am going with my training

generally hanging about looking awkward and nervous

Asking me simple questions like my name every time I see him (could be he's just forgetful or maybe I am!)

The session occurred because I have had some more time to myself during the day recently so I decided to up my training. I bounced into the gym one day and saw him. Feeling quite confident and bubbly I asked him if he wanted to train with me that day. He couldn't as he had a client coming but we arranged to train the next day to do legs.

The legs session arrives and to start with I turned up 30 minutes early so I ran on the treadmill and then spent the next 90 mins doing the most excrutiating leg weight work I have ever done. Even before I left the gym I knew I wouldn't be able to walk for the rest of the week, it was intense!! As the session ended he asked me if I'd like to catch up for a drink over the weekend. Of course I said yes since my rule about this whole thing is not to refuse a date with anyone reasonable! He's not bad looking but perhaps a bit of a westie! I told him I would call him after my run on Saturday. I just about managed to get home before what felt like rigormortis setting in.

The following two days was spent walking around like an old lady, not attractive, or worse I looked like I'd had a really good time the previous night which of course I hadn't so I couldn't even enjoy that thought!!

Come Saturday my legs had just about recovered enough to do my run but then my back had gone out during the 9km haul with my not quite ready legs and I simply had to let the personal trainer down this time. I wasn't walking correctly and my head was about to explode with my new pain a tension headache. I felt like I had been run over to be honest.

I tried to go out on the Sunday but the head was still affecting me so two drinks later on top of some very strong painkillers, I was home to bed by 8.30pm. Oh yes I am a successful dater! Christ!

Up to the Gold Coast this weekend for the run. A few days up there may give me a new lease of life so I can stop flirting with people I am trying to get business out of and actually flirt with people I can potentially get some loving out of. Need to get my priorities right!